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Monday, September 24, 2012

"Since" [flash fiction from "Dreams...]

From the new collection "Dreams, Desires, And Dead Ends" All Rights Reserved. 
©2012 Robert Alan Chappell -- Reproduction in part or in whole of this work constitutes property theft and will be prosecuted. 


         The sirens were bitterly wailing as they passed his office building, and he knew where they were going.  He could see the smoke drifting off into the sky in the distance, and somehow knew it was close to his home.  He also somehow knew that his wife was still there, still in bed, and had no doubt drifted off again.  But only after she had managed to light a cigarette before drifting off. 
         He was far enough away that he also knew he couldn't do anything about it.  The firemen and trucks would soon be there, their water hoses spraying the house down to no avail.  He knew he'd be getting the call within minutes from one of his neighbors informing him of the state of his house and 'was his wife still there?'         He fought the inability to handle his wife's depression.  She fought the inability to handle her life.  He would miss her once she was gone, but he had been missing her for the last fourteen years since the depression had taken over.  Since their son had not been born.  Since she had begun blaming him for the miscarriage that he had tried to tell her was of no fault of anyone's, that it just happened, that more miscarriages happened than actual births.
        Since then, she had spoken to him less and less.  Since then, he had buried himself in his job, and had long since stopped trying to suggest that they go on vacation.  Had long since stopped trying to seduce her into having sex, and had long since given up on anything other than the porn on the computer late at night.  He had long since given up on her accepting help.  He had long since wondered when this moment would come.
        The phone rang at his desk, sounding insistent, but he chose to keep on working.  He'd long since come to depend on his job as his only refuge.
        The hard truth would wait for later, some part of him decided, and he returned his focus back to work.

Friday, September 21, 2012

"Practicing"

From the new collection "Dreams, Desires, And Dead Ends" All Rights Reserved. 
©2012 Robert Alan Chappell Reproduction in part or in whole of this work constitutes property theft and will be prosecuted. 


You just never know what some of the homeless around the city are thinking about.  Some of them when I walk by are just repeating numbers, others are carrying on 'conversations' with people you and I don't see, but they obviously do.

One of them that I usually find at the bus stop that I use to catch the bus to work, Thomas, always has his arms outstretched and pressing himself up against the chain link fence.  I occasionally feed him, and at other times just give him spare change.

I'd meant to ask him what it is he's doing, spread eagled as he is against the chains everyday.  So I finally just decided to ask him.

"Practicing learning how to fly," he said, with all the due seriousness of the mentally ill focusing on whatever they focus on.

Ok, I thought, with one of those, 'Right!?' sort of sounds in my head that I hear people use when they hear something totally crazy.  He just wants to fly.  That's all. "Good luck on that," I told him.

Without opening his eyes, he tells me quite graciously, "Thank you.  I'll let you know when I do." Right?!  I think.  But instead, I say, "Ok," and continue on my way.  "Have a good day."

And he does.

And I go off to work.  I'm an account by day, a drinker and carouser by night and weekend.  It's not exactly what you'd call a fulfilling life, but it's what I've gotten used to.  I do it pretty much the same way I have since I graduated from college.

Of course I take a break from it every now and then by going on periodic vacations, where I switch up counting by day and carousing by night, with carousing by day and dancing and finding a different hotter number to digitate with each night.  It's a rough life, and I hadn't really thought much about it until I'd began talking with Thomas (when he wasn't practicing flying, that is).

He's about my age I found out, except that his life took a rather strange turn during college.  He went from being a mathematician thinking lofty thoughts about numbers, to having a little too intense of a trip on some psychotropic substance he ingested at a party and thinking about flying.  His life had been pretty much the same since too, except different.  Very different.

That night when I got off the bus, Thomas wasn't where he usually was this time of night — namely, up against the chains of his existence.  I didn't think about it for more than a few minutes before I wandered off in the direction of home.  I just figured he had wandered off somewhere as well, having come on a new thought.
Except that he wasn't there the next morning as I walked up.  This made me start worrying, as I hoped that he hadn't been roughed up in the night and might not be lying close to death somewhere.

So I began calling his name.  I was surprised when he answered.  I looked around me trying to figure out where his voice was calling from and couldn't see him.

Finally I heard, "Up here!" and looked up to see that he was indeed flying.  At about a hundred feet or so.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Do You really feel Safe?

I live in Hollywood, a half a block off of The Boulevard and about two blocks away from The 101 (or for those of  you who don't live in LA, Interstate 101). I hear helicopters -- circling, standing rock still hovering in the air, zooooooming past -- what seems like 24/7 these days. There have been nights here where as many as 5-7 chopper flyovers happen in a single night. Chasing Bad Guys. Spotlighting Getaway Vehicles. Sometimes... Doing I don't know what. The LAPD have grown quite reliant on the use of helicopters, even though (from what I've heard) it costs $16,000 (Yes, that's $16k) per minute to keep them there. They better be really Bad Guys to justify that, to my mind.

But it also brings up the whole idea that We The People have tacitly agreed to be constantly surveilled, for our own protection, ever since 9/11. 'It's the cost of Freedom!' someone wrote on Facebook, to protect us from BAD GUYS like Al Queida. Never mind that the former President (well, ok, technically he was called the Vice President) of the United States, Richard Cheney said, "Freedom is a luxury we can no longer afford." That's right. Forget that whole Constitution thingy. Bad for business, and won't let Us keep You Safe.

Technology always seems to rule us. I saw an article a couple of weeks ago (centuries, in Facebook time) showing the latest micro-technology -- Drones the size of mosquitos, fully equipped with both video and audio components, capable of flying in the front door with you, attaching to your clothing to be allowed entrance, etc. All once again, To Protect Us. Are you planning a terrorist operation in your very home?! (Sorry for all the italics and bolds, but this sort of thing does seem to call for shrill editing tricks.)

And on the larger Drone front, the (passed last year by Obama) NDAA (National Defense Authorization Act), allows by Presidential fiat, surveillance of All US citizens, without any need for justification or need for a messy wiretap warrant (Habeas Corpus). Just in case...

Now, I'll ask the question that formed the title of this blog once again. Are You Really Feeling Safer?

Sunday, September 16, 2012

The Big Hum


In an article I read recently on an experience of a different kind of Sexual Attraction, the Author took on what most people think should be the Big Bang of Attraction and expressed that a recent experience of hers was more of a Big Hum. Instead of fireworks going off when 'he' walked into the room, she felt a deep hum begin inside of her. 

A friend of mine back East once told me, she used to think love was all fireworks, bright and loud and explosive. But then (at the time she was telling me this) she said, "I've rather come to think of it like fireflies, winking here and there in the summer night, not like explosions" that seem to flare and then disappear all too quickly. In other words, "The Big Hum." 

For those of us who hear it, the faint ringing in our ears to science is evidence of the physical 'ailment' of tinnitus, a condition that can be cured by B vitamins filling in a 'deficiency.' I've experienced this 'hum' for quite some time, but only after reading this article did it occur to me, that perhaps what I was hearing was the 'background noise' of Creation itself; this Hum being what used to be called The Music of the Spheres. Perhaps it is the sound of the Superstrings of Quantum Theory ("Harps of Heaven"?) that played this reality into existence once upon a time, humming the firefly light of Creation into existence.

Scientists have also concluded that the "Big Bang" was more of a Long Bang, not Creation in an instant, but building over time, eventually to what we are now. Most Wisdom Paths speak of Inspiration ("The Breath of God") being the quiet, still Voice from Within. Jesus said, "Be Still, and know that I AM with you." 

Creation may seem at times like an explosion, a coming from 'nothing' into Something, but instead for me it plays out as a quiet instant of Inspiration building towards a more full (ful-filled) Big Hum. Love builds (hopefully), from the first Spark into greater Glory, but hopefully doesn't disappear with a Bang.

Monday, September 3, 2012

"Should Bible Classes be allowed in public schools?"


This was posted by the novelist Anne Rice on her Facebook Page asking for opinions. This below is my response (expanded, of course).

Ms. Rice I'm sorry, but there's a very great distance between what this Governor is advocating (proselytizing Bible 'studies') and what you're advocating (the history of and discerning what/where/how the 'Bible' has influenced 'Western civilization'). This State Official is advocating the opinions of the most radically Reich in her state to influence any and all students about Das Book (which is really all "The Bible" means since for centuries it was the ONLY Book that was allowed to be 'read' [mostly taught, since only the most powerful could even read]).

This would be simple indoctrination and not anything approaching 'study' at all. This is not Constitutionally valid and therefore should not even be considered and should be struck down with all speed (if possible) by the Supreme Court (not that that's going to happen).

From the article in question: Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has signed into law a bill that allows the establishing of elective classes that focus on the Bible and its influence on western civilization.
Read more at http://www.christianpost.com/news/ariz-governor-signs-bill-to-allow-bible-classes-in-public-schools-73485/#2Rmb6bAVQOzeFMpi.99

"A teacher who instructs a course offered under this section in its [blogger emphasis added] appropriate historical context and in good faith shall be immune from civil liability and disciplinary action," reads the bill.

Ah, and here's the rub. "...in good faith..." There are so many small points of darkness in this potential 'teaching' that boggle the imagination. In bringing in this seemingly benign 'educational opportunity' a gaping hole is being introduced into the Constitutional fabric of the nation. Born-agains are shouting about 'Christian pursecution' while striving to back-door their particular brand of 'Christianity' into the Law of the land.

Never mind that most of the students who would be subject to whatever material that such a 'course' might bring are already 'of The Faith.'  So why can't they receive such information from their Church? Because that is not the intent of this 'bill.'

The insidiousness of this 'bill' would be the means of opening similar 'legislation' in other states. It would be a seemingly innocuous teaching of 'history' to any and all who 'wished to partake.' For now. 

For those of  us whose ideas and beliefs are different from those of the Far Reich, now is the time to speak out against this 'legal means' of 'teaching about "The Bible." ' I am not opposed to the ideas of The Man who they (think they) believe in, but I do oppose any means of further indoctrination in a country that is increasingly non-Christian. Even for those of us who consider ourselves "Christian" (and I count myself [in a qualified way] among those believers), this seems like a non-issue. But I assure you, it isn't.

"Damn I'm rich! $$$$"

This was the post of someone I know on Facebook regarding a web site he went to on the relative wealth of most Americans. I know it was meant to show that We The People aren't really doing so badly compared to the rest of the world. I also know it was meant to engender gratitude for what We have. But it still is a gross over-simplification of what the real issues are (and to the conspiratorial mind-set, perhaps is meant to calm and mollify those of us in the 99% of this country).  

But the real issue is in all of this, that however much We Americans have (once again, at least in the 99%) more than the rest of the world, poverty is relative. If you only make a dollar a day and subsistence is $1.25, that's much better than making $6 an hour when you actually need $8 to truly survive. These sites and 'meters' don't take into consideration a great many things. For an increasing many in this country, they are skewing more towards Third (and Forth) World living every day. 

Americans need to simplify their lives for the most part. And they can do with a lot less in the material realm than they think they can. Americans have been led into thinking that they Need To Have so much, because... well, because They're Americans, dammit! The Country has been marketed into excessive material to prove how well We Are as a country (and to feed the 1% 's insatiable need to OWN EVERYTHING). Americans are now as a People being forced to cut back their expectations because those said expectations were not anywhere approaching reason (that's why most Americans are up to the tops of their increasingly disappearing hairlines in DEBT [called the "Sweet Spot" by the Credito-Industrial Complex]).

But that said, the incidence of homelessness is increasing exponentially in this country. I for instance was homeless for almost three years (living on the couches of friends, etc. with no money coming in). And I had these resources to keep me from the worst of it. According to this sites scale, I'm filthily wealthy -- and believe me, that ain't the case.

So, yes. I am relatively well off. I now have enough money to eat, and to pay my (adjusted due to disability) rent. I don't have a car still (in LA, that's sacrilege!). And here it is, yet another holiday, and I didn't have enough 'spare cash' to do anything besides go to a pot-luck party later today. In the meantime, I'm 'working' (writing). I hope someday soon to at least have a car to go for a (small luxury) scenic drive for a holiday. Perhaps soon, I'll have even more available funds to do even more.

But right here, right now, I'm grateful for what I have. I wish everyone else that gratitude as well. 

And I also wish that the World some day comes into more of an equitable equal distribution of quality of life. We're not there yet though. Don't let the truly Wealthy mollify you into believing that this is 'all right' (cause it ain't).