I have been told repeatedly, that one is not an adult unless one has fathered a child. And yet, on a bus recently, I was confronted by two loud "ghetto" (that's what they call it when they take over a bus or a corner and proceed to announce to the world... whatever) twenty somethings that the children they created (one of them two by a woman/child that he didn't want to have anything to do with but for his 'kids'). As I was getting off the bus, the loudest (the two children) said, "Havin' kids just happens to the best of us" -- as if that justified it. Funny, I've never known having children to force anyone to grow up, and many still don't.
I have also been told that Women today are 'independent' and able to support themselves and a man if they want. But they still expect the Man to make a lot of money. One couple I know of, the wife supports the husband and has for years, and he has apparently had a number of women supporting him in the past. I have also known several other men who, while the wife/girlfriend didn't support them completely, helped them out a great deal.
I've supported myself (some years better than others) most of my life. I've done my creative pursuits most of that life, paying for the doing of them by not exactly making a lot of money. I've been married twice, and each case the 'independent' woman I married soon expected me to support them. Not conducive to having creative time.
I've searched for someone to support me the way my first friend has been supported by a number of his girlfriends and then wife, but that creative thing and the money thing always seem to get in the way. The saying goes that "behind every great man stands a great woman."
I'm still looking for that "great woman" myself -- not out of a desire to not grow up, but because if I had that kind of support, who knows where I would be today? Life is enough of a struggle as it is. Add a rich Creative Impulse to that struggle, and it becomes a decision point (usually) of: responsibility/earning a living, or creative pursuit/not earning much of a living.
Now this is not to say that I haven't had the support of a number of loving friends over the years, because I have. I just haven't had that Partner along the way who had the steady job that might have provided for both of our welfare with my Creative Pursuit paving the way.
Soon my intention is that it won't matter any more. I am intending that this is the year of Breakthrough on many levels, the year of fulfillment of the promise of the years that I have put into the Creative Pursuit.
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