Bake Sale for Billionaires

Welcome to those thirlling days of Yesteryear! Where the Rich were Rich because God Blessed them (even though they were cursing the Not Rich). If the rest of the Country is Poor, that just means that they need to pull themselves up by the bootsraps, and get some Gumption, by God!

Now let's take you to to our radio show in progress. (What's that? What's a Radio? You know, those things you listened to before you had the Internet and iPods and Mp3 players, oh my? I know; that's so last Century.)

The Poor:

Let's have a moment of silence here... for the poor Billionaires of This Country. Seems that they don't have enough money in their bank accounts.

I know! Let's have a Bake Sale for Billionaires! They don't seem to have enough money, poor dears. Well, we'll give them even more of Ours! Whaddaya say, Kids? Aw, come on...

Those Poor Billionaires are going to bed hungry.

Yeah. Hungry for more. MONEY, Power. By Gosh, I guess they don't have it all just yet. I guess we'll have to help them out.

The Rich:

Whaddaya mean, we don't have ALL your money yet? That's not enough in my book!

Poor People? We don't have any Poor People in this Great Country of Ours, do we? [pause for brilliant idea here] Oh, you mean the Welfare Cheats?! The Under-Taxed Class. Yes. They should pay their taxes, by Gumption!

What's this? They don't have any jobs? Well, that's not Our Fault, is it? They just need to go out and get a Job. This is America, where everyone should work (so they can continue to pay Our Taxes for Us). Isn't there a McDonalds or Walmart close by for them to work in? That's what we made those jobs for.

What's that, you say? You're saying this isn't funny? Well, how about Wisconsin? The Demoncrats leave the State in order to not rubber-stamp our fully elected Tea Party Guvner's plan to slash and burn the State Budget. That's not fair! They're Criminals, Criminals I tell you! Get those arrest warrants out already and bring them back to do Our Civic Duty! What do they think this is? A Democracy?