"Since" [flash fiction from "Dreams...]

From the new collection "Dreams, Desires, And Dead Ends" All Rights Reserved. 
©2012 Robert Alan Chappell -- Reproduction in part or in whole of this work constitutes property theft and will be prosecuted. 


         The sirens were bitterly wailing as they passed his office building, and he knew where they were going.  He could see the smoke drifting off into the sky in the distance, and somehow knew it was close to his home.  He also somehow knew that his wife was still there, still in bed, and had no doubt drifted off again.  But only after she had managed to light a cigarette before drifting off. 
         He was far enough away that he also knew he couldn't do anything about it.  The firemen and trucks would soon be there, their water hoses spraying the house down to no avail.  He knew he'd be getting the call within minutes from one of his neighbors informing him of the state of his house and 'was his wife still there?'         He fought the inability to handle his wife's depression.  She fought the inability to handle her life.  He would miss her once she was gone, but he had been missing her for the last fourteen years since the depression had taken over.  Since their son had not been born.  Since she had begun blaming him for the miscarriage that he had tried to tell her was of no fault of anyone's, that it just happened, that more miscarriages happened than actual births.
        Since then, she had spoken to him less and less.  Since then, he had buried himself in his job, and had long since stopped trying to suggest that they go on vacation.  Had long since stopped trying to seduce her into having sex, and had long since given up on anything other than the porn on the computer late at night.  He had long since given up on her accepting help.  He had long since wondered when this moment would come.
        The phone rang at his desk, sounding insistent, but he chose to keep on working.  He'd long since come to depend on his job as his only refuge.
        The hard truth would wait for later, some part of him decided, and he returned his focus back to work.